May 1, 2019 || 1:46PM
It’s been tough.
It seems like everything is but isn’t falling into place. I’m moving to Florida in August to go to a school I NEVER thought I’d ever go to. I’m both excited and terrified all in its entirety, because I’ve lived in Kingman my ENTIRE life and never really had the chance to venture out.
Lately I’ve been feeling unworthy. I’ve been feeling like a failure, overwhelmed, and unsuccessful. I told God, “How can I measure up and even remotely be capable to do what they do there?” Lord, I need your help, because I feel like EVERYTHING is slipping from my fingers. There are things going on I cannot grasp and my heart hurts, because I can’t put everything in MY control.
But I’m not God.
I can’t cure people’s health.
I can’t snap my fingers and make my transition just fall into place in a nanosecond.
I can’t mend broken hearts.
I can’t remove debt.
And I can’t perform miracles.
But I CAN ask HIM for help. I CAN depend on Him. And I CAN trust HIM that He will take care of all my needs.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)
And I know that I’ve put too much on my plate rather than in God’s hands when my peace and joy have disappeared. We were called to carry our crosses, lay our lives down, and love. Jesus didn’t die on that cross for us to carry burdens. He wants us to give those worries to Him; but don’t feel bad.
He’s a patient Father.
He’ll wait for us to give it to Him. So, after having a heavy heart and a not-so-good anxiety filled last few weeks, I’m going to rest in Him tonight. Let’s all just rest in Him tonight knowing He’s going to take care of it. That doesn’t mean we aren’t always going to have something come up, but this means we can always depend and count on HIM to comfort, restore, and love us unconditionally and for eternity.
“Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” -Jeremiah 33:3 (NKJV)