05/5/2020 || 2:22PM
The other day I decided to get all “dolled up”. I grew up a tomboy and mostly around my brother and step-dad so being “girly” wasn’t really programmed in my brain. I grew up thinking it was bad to be girly honestly. But, the other day, I got bored and decided, “you know what, I don’t know how to do full blown makeup, but I want to dress up today.” This preceded with me going to my room, turning on a YouTube video, putting on a full face of make up with what I had (mostly Ipsy products), doing my hair, and wearing a dress.
I went and showed my roommate and it sparked her interest to do a mini photo-shoot. I obviously don’t know how to model and she tried telling me what to do, but the whole scenario was too funny in my head. Like, “What am I doing?”, “Who am I?”, “Am I really modeling with makeup and a dress?” Haha.
I spent my whole life ignoring they way HE created me. I hated her. I thought partaking in being a female was considered dramatic and no one liked it. Of course, when I sought Jesus, this ideology started to not make ANY sense. Especially after this year, when I truly began seeking Jesus’s heart. We’re called to live in truth, but I had only heard the “christianese” verses that had no heart behind them. So I had a beautiful opportunity to seek the truth out myself.
– Please do this. –
And what I found has molded my heart to Jesus in a way that I’ll never let go of Him. I can’t un-see what He’s shown me. I love who I am. I love the parts of my personality He’s revealed to me. Look friend, get in the word. Seek His heart. Believe what He’s saying. If we can believe our paycheck is going to hit our bank accounts without doubting our “direct deposit”, we can believe in a God who created those very paychecks. We can believe in a God that created houses, cars, roads, trees, clouds, and US. The bible says:
- [I] am a new creation. (2 Cor. 5:17)
- [I] am the joy set before Him. He went to the cross for [me] so [I’d] never experience shame. (Heb. 12:2)
- He binds up the wounds of [my] broken heart. (Ps. 147:3)
- He is near when [I] call upon Him. (Ps. 145:18)
- With a flash of [my] eyes, He is undone by [my] love to Him. (SOS 4:9 – TPT)
- He wipes away every tear and keeps them in a bottle. (Is. 25:8 & Ps. 56:8)
- He rejoices over [me] with singing, quieting [me] with His LOVE. (Zeph. 3:17)
- He CHOSE [me] and created [me] before the foundation of the world and calls [me] SPOTLESS. (Eph. 1:4)
These are just a FEW of His words. Hating myself didn’t solve anything. By hating myself, I was agreeing to another voice that DIDN’T pay a price for me. And I’m sure this hurt Jesus’s heart so bad, but His love is unwavering, it doesn’t change. He. Kept. Pursuing. Me. And He’ll never stop.
What kind of love is this?
It’s beautiful. Jesus died so we could be near to Him. He died so we could have a relationship with Him. He died, because He loves us so much, that His heart could burst open, and to the point of death (SOS 4:9). I didn’t choose Him, but He chose me—first. When I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, He comforted me. When I got to the end of myself, He was there.
He is gentle.
He is kind.
He holds no record of wrong.
He is not self-seeking.
He does not boast.
He does not envy.
Love conquers all. Jesus wants us to love Him and He’ll do the rest. Jesus wants to dance with us as our insecurities and chains fall to the ground. He’s not scared. The same one who made a fool out of death wants to carry you through life.
Will you believe in what He says and let Him friend?