My way or ‘Yahweh’?

Started: May 13, 2020 || 4:24PM Finished: May 18, 2020 || 10:04AM

I procrastinate. A lot.

I have several dreams, ideas, and goals, but sometimes I’m like a snail getting there. I’m so goal-oriented, shouldn’t I be on top of it? I actually read an article once titled, “Procrastination is Not Laziness” by David Cain. He mentioned:

It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.”

Wait, what?

Then he continues to say that people with this mindset believe their performance is attached to their value. This is typically a result of children who were prone to HIGH expectations being placed on them. This could not be more true! (at least for me.) I had always wondered why I was so “driven”, but waited until the LAST second to do anything. Because of this mindset, I experienced a few things:

-Anxiety

-I was hard on myself (almost angry)

-I constantly felt like a failure

-I compared

Awful, right? In David Cain’s blog he later shared how “perfectionism breeds pessimism”. Which is actually interesting, because a neighbor sent me a podcast regarding the correlation to perfectionism and pessimism; and the guy stated, “perfectionism is procrastination in fear”. The fact is, perfectionism breeds anxiety, because we need a tight grip on everything. Procrastination is the deceptive reward.

The Lord has healed about 98% of my OCD. It was not TV show bad, but it resulted in anger if anyone attempted to mess with what I was trying to control. So if what I was trying to make perfect wasn’t perfect I’d get angry. Or I was waiting until the last second causing myself high-anxiety. Both cloud your judgment to make healthy decisions for your life. Your. Life.

Philippians 4:6 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

A couple things I’d like to point out in this verse;

1.This verse is giving us a choice. IF you’re anxious, how are you going to handle it?

2. Thanksgiving INSTANTLY cancels out anything that is going on that isn’t producing peace.

3. Jesus was hung on a cross, because we sent Him there and God is inviting us to tell Him what is going on in our lives (even though He already knows, He still cares to hear what’s on and in your heart).

The next verse (4:7) says: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

The peace of God → surpasses all comprehension which results in HIM guarding our hearts AND minds. So, peace guards my heart and mind, not my control. Control causes anxiety.

1 Peter 5:7 says, “…casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”

Can we just take a moment and appreciate that the God who created the heavens, the earth, the birds, the ocean, and little you and me cares about us SO much? He’s saying, “give me EVERYTHING that’s bothering you and I’ll replace it with MY peace and MY love. Don’t worry about it.”

It wasn’t until I began to receive and seek Jesus’s heart, did my death grip on everything begin to loosen. His love isn’t based on my performance. He doesn’t love me, because my eyebrows were “on fleek”. He doesn’t love me, because I didn’t mess up today.

He didn’t die for me because I strived to excel in everything I did and He surely didn’t die for me to fix my procrastination and perfectionism problem. Jesus died for love – for a relationship. It’s really that simple. Sometimes I try to figure out some algorithm, but then quickly remember I hate math, I’m not good at it, and Jesus is probably belly laughing at me, because it’s just too simple for my human brain that He just loves me for me and there’s nothing added to it – “…I am not of this world.” (John 17:6). His love is not the same as ours. It’s far beyond that.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,

declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

The more He shows me His heart, the more I let go. Be encouraged friend. There’s a Man that’s higher and beyond all our understanding – that should excite you! There is a love He wants to give to you and there’s no expiration date. Your value is not based on how unsuccessful you were today, yesterday, or 3 years ago. Your value is based on the blood that was shed for you when Jesus said, “It is finished.” So, I don’t need to reward myself, He is my reward. Procrastination doesn’t define me, Jesus does.

He is the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).

(Note: I started this May 13 and it’s May 18.)

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